Head Phones

The psychology of any thing is a study beyond the bounds of book knowledge. The study of the mental science of a human brain cannot be categorized. I have never read the DSM IV 4 TR but still I cannot imagine how in an evolving species can we classify human psychology. Rather call it a book of Stereotype Perpetuations which men have seen through a stitching needles head. How well does one know a person, how well does one know them self. What does it mean to know ones self. Every question in this world has an answer governed by norms. Create an answer which deviates from this and one of 2 things can happen.
1. You find out something brilliant that you are thought in school text books. ( Chances are less than 10 %)
2. People will consider you to be a social outcast . A probability of which lies 'Greater than or equal to 89% '.

The boy child is someone every family house hold wants to plop out a women's vagina. A stereotype which is created that he will carry on the future house hold name or is it taken for granted that when I grow old he has to take care of me. We are born with entrepreneurial skills, skills which we dont know exist in us , until shit hits your face. I think the concept of a woman being pregnant late into her 30s doesn't just come with biological problems as the world sees it. It I think has a very psychological outlook toward it.

Raël was 26 when she had her 1st baby girl. Any thing brand new, animate or inanimate holds a certain amount of value which will degrade with time but will always have an emotional attachment to it. Care will be taken to ensure nothing ever happens to it and it is nourished in a way that is lasts forever while producing results. Also this is the 1st time She had an organism in her life where she is the proprietor of it. It amazing when you find out how to use an instrument on you own with out the use of a readers manual. With time the urge to upgrade and get a newer model always arises. It that sense of wanting more which gets to you, some people may say its motivation to achieve greater deeds in life, the others may just say its "greed'. 3 years later came a beautiful Monday Harper. Her eyes filled with warmth which any one could feel through a wall. Raël knew the few basic steps but taking the human psychology factor difference into consideration she made the effort to read deep into what those eyes spoke to her. Find out weakness- strength, love- hate , joy-sorrow. Taking any thing for granted was never an option. Details were read into found out analyzed and seen to in a fashion which was an epitome of perfection.

Shopper Holics many a time, pick up clothes they find 1 percent interest in , knowing that they can match it with 'Something or the Other'. Their experience in doing so give them a confidence that this $500 pair of shoes will go with something or the other. An autobiography of that pair of shoe would really be more than 500 words unless it repeated this line in different forms; " and I lay there while I saw other shoes walk in and out". You may think 9 years of parenting qualifies you to be a parent with experience. When Raël was 35 out shot a boy which could have been planned or was a mistake which they said lets see what we can do about it. We will figure out 'Something or the Other'. The outcome was foreseen with-out thought about putting manure suitable for a plant. So if you a musician and you've created tune equivalent to that of Mozart or Chopin you will not be able to overnight ' Fuck a night club in the pussy so that everyone Cum's at the end of the night'. Timmy was a boy born in a household where women were trained and groomed by self taught parents. Which means things were bound to be different for him . Unless Raël and her hubby thought of him as a brand new Apple Product. Unfortunately for Timmy as cliched as it is, nothing goes in his favour. Yes we are living in a society which strives for equality between men and women but there will always be a difference between man and woman. It isn't wrong to point that out but is a bitch ass move to try to figure out which one is greater than the other.

Raël was confident enough that pushing these button on the keyboard would produce these results , but what if the Software she used was different. Did that thought cross her mind for even a second . Turns out she was too smart for her own. Yes space bar is suppose to create a space , but its your narrow mind which defeats the thought purpose of multi functions. Why in fucks name is there no space being created in the film i'm watching on VLC. Why in fucks name is Timmy not home at 6 in the evening when the other boys come out to play is what she would yell. Piece of advice to every parent or every parent to be who hypocritically say " what happens within these four walls should stay within these four walls , every family matter should we settled within these four walls' ; Do Not slap your kid in front of his friends at what ever cost. You do not know how badly it could effect his psychological thought of standing up for him self. Correctional Psychology should actually be a subject in a 3 year degree course to people who want to have kids. They shouldnt be allowed to have kids with out this degree. It would do so much good for this world, especially China and India. Why is it to handle a Million Dollar project one needs to be qualified with a degree or some certification but to handle something priceless all you need is a FUCK!

Raël suddenly realised hubby is retiring and Timmy is a Freshman in College. Holy Fuck , guess for a genius in Math she didnt calculate this very well. Guess the drug of lust is stronger compared to Sisa or Krokodil and you wont know when it kicks in. Suddenly the buttons pressed aren't really producing an outcome desired of what it is suppose to be. Everything comes down to 'Where is Ben Franklin'. Its my time to chill why are my pockets getting emptied. You chose this for yourself , you figure that you will figure out but now that you cant direct all your negativity toward the most easiest liable thing of yours. Someone who is in you debt. Timmy's most prized collection is a pair of sound canceling Head Phones. His coping mechanism if you may say. Any word Raël which comes out of your mouth would seem scary to the poor guy. Its like an after effect which an earthquake victim faces when a vibrating dildo is turned on. At a time when you may even say that 'You love him' yet he still prefers to hear the voices come out from a pair of in-ears from a time zone of 90 mins before him. To him , Raël has become a part of the group which is 'Greater than or equal to 89%'.

His 10% percent are his 'Head Phones'

Gloves and Wine Glasses.

I waited 9 days before I could meet you again, and decided not to fall in love with you tonight. It's amazing what a bottle of Chenin Blanc can do. I drank 2 with you.

We need love in life. Be it your folks at home, a tagged "girlfriend", the married mistress next door or someone who plays 'snuggly-girl' with you. These days the term "Relationships" with people I come across  and even in my case come with so much of baggage. Ryan Bingham in 'Up in the Air' asks you what's in your backpack. Start with the small things in life : dad and mom, brothers and sisters , uncles and aunts (My fellow Indians I mean the Official Uncle and Aunts). Move up a notch : the boys, girlfriends,  ex-girlfriends, school, college , your job , unemployment (even worse). That is alot of weight to carry. It can drain your life from right under your nose if you aren't careful. But why do we risk it? It is just for that feeling of not being alone? To know that you are loved and that someone cares about you? We would put ourselves into stress beyond levels to make sure these people are happy with a fear of not loosing them. So then what are , our real assets? Gold , Silver , Money, Houses , Property or these people. Which do we protect more?

Imagine life like a game of tennis. We come, we play, we have fun, shake hands and go home carry on with life. Expectations NONE. It's wrong to be alone in this world. Everybody needs a someone. Everybody needs love. Nobody deserves LOAD. What is this load you ask me , "It's the things that happen when expectations arise and the LOAD becomes heavier when they aren't fullfilled". Find happiness in yourself , you will never need anyone to do anything for you. Self-Sufficiency will put away so much of negativity. Have one rule in life ,  positivity and happiness is what you should have and spread.

Write Yourself a book. Call if the "Laws of Love".
I'll give you a head start

Rule number 1 - Find content in yourself 1st and foremost.
Number 2 - Don't lie, there really is no need.
3- Mishaps shall be taken lightly, and life will continue with a genuine smile.

Elaborate more around these rules you will land up with this.

A person or set of people you can trust. You will never have to fake your self . Love and positivity will always surround you. Negativity wont dare to come close by even if exists towards you . You will sleep with a smile and wake with one everyday. Never shed a tear of sorrow. Best of all you will fall in love without any baggage, body light enough to travel cross country while slumming it out and yet loving every moment of it.

P.S - When your tennis partner or fellow player falls down , how ever heated the game or rival the opponent, you will rush to help them up again. Imply that in life.

Hoity Toity people if you have never seen it, take of your gloves , chug your glass of wine ,put on a pair of shorts , rock it with a t-shirt and chapals and come down to my city. You will find it on the streets.

My Ugly Duckling

Laguna beach in California , has the best waves to bring out the surfboards. This is paradise for self proclaimed ornithologist. Latino blood is always filled with spice , vibrant colors and dance is their upbringing and they graduate with Tequila. Who wouldn't want to spend their vacations over here.

The best place to go and burn of some steam , party hard . But that place is filled with Savages. We all come from places filled with Savages. Do we escape our homes just to go to another place just like home. No way mister, i choose Lopud. Its a known factor and not just my words but you visit Dubrovnik if you really want to find peace with your self, escape the clutches of life and be free. Most importantly find your self. I will call that place, Bucket list town. From running butt naked on the sand, to celebrating life with different communities comming together as one. One morning ( by which i mean 2 in the afternoon) while rowing in my tiny boat across the sexy blue water, from under pops out a duck. Random as hell , weirdest bird I have ever seen . I personally hate anything that cannot take a dump in a discipline way and flies. But there was something about this thing which even Simon would agree to him having the xFactor. Sitting in the middle of the ocean with land on one side and the rest of the ocean on the other while the sun sets equals the time I lost my virginity times 100. To sit over there with a duck and say nothing is ok but feel like he has understood each and every thought which has gone through my mind is a Ripley's moment. Did nature bring that freak of nature to me or was it luck I don't know. But did I feel Me again yes. Not saying anything at times to someone who cannot hear is like pouring your heart out and getting a hug after saying " All will be well ".

Our world has never ever seemed to fail when it comes to disappointing me. Our expectations keep growing by the day. God sent Jesus 2000 years ago and he practically fulfilled everything. I mean he is the Son of God . But in 2000 years, people wound up, back to forgetting their where-a-bouts. What it takes to keep them happy, where to find that closure. Truth be told we all are happy and content with our perfect little lives, but can we live with ourselves knowing that someone close to you is happier. Mark and Steve as remarkable as they are have screwed things by providing us with that freedom to share and boast about things just to show the world that you are happy. I have approx 1.5 billion people in my country. A quarter of those people choose to travel every year overseas. A question always arises after I see my passengers off.
How much of the place have you taken in or was the INDIAN food not good enough for you even tho you are getting it in a foreign land. Sail through the Milford Sound and crib that the Network sucks.
It is impossible to please people. When is anything ever enough. I'll tell you when. Its when these Rat Basterds who whine like little bitches for 14nights and 15 days go back home and put up a Pandol in the middle of the park and Boast about what an amazing trip they had and here is the FINGER to the rest of you Poor people who cannot afford it.

Any one with a passion to travel should Never get my job. Even tho it entitles me to travel, on induction day it was made very clear that your new passion is to WORK! " Life is a bitch ", that line has made its way down the years from Pigeons to Post, Myspace to Hi5, Orkut to Facebook, BBM to Watsapp. A very wise man said , "Every-time you feel tired , Exhausted and want to quit your job, open your wallet , remove a $100 bill , look at it and you will smile ". Try it , it actually works.
But what happens when you don't have a cent in your pocket.

Go find you self an 'Ugly Duckling.'

We Consumed Alcohol.

I faced a very bad break up at a time when a guy is at his most vulnerable age. Teenage life can really suck sometimes with its consequences , add heartbreak to that and you get Vincent Chase after Sasha grey Dumps him. But the best part of it all is that , there is a ready made excuse handed to you on a silver platter for you to go out and do things which you under usual circumstances wouldn’t do. I used that excuse to the fullest. I guess after being with a Dhokla for the longest time ever you pick up the trait of milking things till the very last drop. Entourage is the best Sitcom ever made, and for people who did watch it , post break up for me was like the beginning of 5^th season after he screened Medellin in Cannes. I went into captivity convincing my self that I was hibernating. The things consumed ( not alcohol) gave me that rush which could hide hurt. The women were a set menu for Breakfast , Lunch and Dinner. Yes I do exaggerate at times when I write, but I like Bollywood movies. I’m a proud Indian and nothing can go without Masala. To sum everything up I was Broke, Lost and a mini version of Hugh Heffner. Ever think how does a broke guy manage to facilitate all these expensive needs, because tail and drugs are not a cheap affair even tho their character reflects the opposite. Well find a Rich and Lonely Junkie n its Christmas. Stop it, stop all the judgment. I was a low life I know but arnt we all. Havent we been leeches and sucked resources out of people atleast once. Really think hard and then stop thinking about physical things and think about the emotional side of your life.

I couldn’t have been on any more of a downer than I was. One sentence by Dad and it was a life changer, and I quote ,” If I ever see a smoke in your mouth I will break your jaw”. My dad is the last person on earth to threaten or raise his hand. He is more of the hour long lecture kind of guy, where you go “oh shoot me already”. So those words coming out of his mouth is like a character from J.K Rowling uttering the word ‘Voldemort’. Life long lesson – Hit your child when they are wrong and complete their life. My life would feel incomplete had a hand no swung by my face one in while.

This is a very weird coincidence but Kym disturbs me on Skype right when I feel most inspired and I’m in a free flow of words. She is like these crazy pop-up screens which annoy the hell out of you but once in a while has something really surprising awesome on it. She showed me a long lost Pup. #awsomefeeling.

 Its darkest before dawn. Do we really know that or have we experienced it for its metaphorical reasons. I thought to see if its actually true, but I took a long time. Roughly 547 days, but the only time I ever thought of doing so was at a beach party which got over at 9 in the morning. I’m gonna confuse things a bit , because this in my head sounds jumbled up but stick with me, it has some sense.

1. I wanted to see the difference between dark and the darkest point and the 1^st step of a brighter day.

2. Failed to remember but swore that next time that won’t be the case. This promise always turns out to be the same promise that we make the next morning with a hangover.  

I can actually relate to a life operating the same way.

1. Screw up a good life, sit in the dark. Wait for it to get to the worst point that it can ever reach.

2. Promise your self that tomoro im gonna wake up and pull  a Vincent Chase out of rehab.

3. Make a shitty attempt at it, realize that the light really hurts your eyes after sitting in the dark for so long. ‘U-turn’ back to the crapper because you’re comfy there.

Please do try and see the connectivity because there really is more than one way of trying to comprehend it with life.

Everyone does reach that point of life where you don’t want to be known as a “boy” or “that guy”. I found that point after I shared a bottle of Jack with Papa Bear. We Consumed a lot of alcohol and in the most toxic state, he looks at me , smiles and says , ‘ Son, it takes guts to get drunk in front of your father, but to get me drunk at the same time is a wise thing to do.’

Would my Passport ever get an Exit and Entry stamp

As a kid i was very fascinated with the film " The Truman Show ". A world within a world where everyone knows everything about you. I was convinced that there is a very high possibility of me actually staring in my very own " The Terence Show ". Foreign land was on the other side of the bridge. Has anyone heard of the great " Sion -Belapur " bridge. I fail to understand its name because it actually connects two Great Cities " Mumbai - Navi Mumbai " with the connecting towns being " Vashi & Mankhurd ". Just imagine the Manhattan bridge connecting "The Bronx with Queens". A whole years supply of unlimited jokes.

My travels, I feel , many a times is like sitting through a Russell Peters show, but that is me jumping way ahead in this conversation with you. As much as I wish, I really wasn't born into the richest of families. Holidays meant Goa, and not for the cliched crap people go there to do , it was hard core village life. I was really tiny then , the house was big , i did get lost many a times. Mom refused to pack good clothes because apparently i would roll in mud with the dog. Who goes on Vacation carrying clothes you throw out ( and I'm not talking disposable underwear ), everyone likes to look nice even on vacation. Looking on the brighter side of it, with the amount of power cuts we had , we couldn't really see any thing. Pontis ( spelt wrong but that is how u pronounce it ) the new form of candles or is it vice versa. That device if older than a candle is the best invention even, easily portable , long lasting, doesn't have hot wax falling all over your hand and you having to go " OH F*%& , that burns ". If your a smart ass thinking , " what a dueche, just buy an inverter " then screw you this is Goa circa 1994.

I just took a break to go read my friend Kymberlee's blog and others and i realize, I suck at writing. Call Kym and conclude that I'm a better orator than a writer whilst she is vice versa. So we decide to team up. I will tell you when that happens, rather you might just see the difference in writings.

My dad worked in Jeddha, Saudi Arabia for like the longest time ever. The day I was born he decides to come back to India. A lot of you heck the whole world may say what an awesome dad, but I was like Dam It. Don't judge me already , wait for it. I am the youngest citizen of the family. I got 2 awesome REALLY ELDER sisters ( now ). Back in the day like most kids , i could go Hulk Hogan on them. Dad, mom , Kay and Lo Lo would have discussions about how every summer they would visit dad in Saudi , do this do that, visit a MALL ( non existent in india then ) sit in fancy cars etc etc. What did I have, let me see a Rusty Fiat which was my moms 1st car she bought in the 18th century, Horrible mumbai roads, Crawford market as the Mall , and mango milk-shake at Bad shah's as my Haagen Daz. Top all the luxuries my sisters had with all the beauties Hollywood films perpetuate of foreign land and you have me , a Jealous little Brat.

Cut to 2008. Me mommy asks me, "Puta ( Son in Konkani ) your aunt and I are going to the Holy Land , want to come with us". The dum child that i was not really thinking about traveling abroad as priority , i start calculating how many masses and prayers will i have to sit through. It took my sisters to knock some sense into me and woohoo it was a plan.!!!

Out come all the hollywood movies again, imagination running wild as to how foreign land is going to  be. Chilling by the fire while eating fondue. The only cars to be seen on the road will be Ferraris, Rolls, Mazz's and some Bugatti's. And the most common male trail of thought , Oh the Chics, white , half naked and slutty.

Arrive at Cairo Airport and just step out, all the above mentioned hypothetical situations and thoughts Vanish. I truly felt my plane took off from Bombay, Circled for a few hours and landed back at base. The 1st thing which you see as soon as you exit any airport are the Cars and Buses. Here transport was dated back to the 1st world war. The Roads dirty as hell and the women covered from TOP to BOTTOM. Was my wait for 19 years really worth it, i felt not, until in front of me stood the Great Pyramids of Giza Cheops, Chephren and Mycerinus. Cairo will never appeal you especially if you were born and bought up in a city like Mumbai and you are traveling overseas for the 1st time. Traffic jams, crowded places with people who don't shower, beggars etc will make you feel like home. None the less there is some Magic in the City.

It at least stamped me an Entry and Exit on my Passport!